What I Learned: Spring 2018
One of my favorite authors who I've followed for years [and years] is Emily P. Freeman. Back in the "old days of blogging" as she wrote about just the other day, I was a very regular reader of her blog. I have loved her books, I have enjoyed listening to her podcast on occasion [I'm just not a regular podcast listener] and I've recently been enjoying soaking up what I can from hope*writers, where she and a few others have created a community full of encouragement and teaching for other writers.Every season, she shares a list of what she has learned, and I decided this spring to join in. I don't know if I'll become a regular, but I do love the concept of reflection. It may be the elementary ed major in me from years past, but reflection is good for the soul. It helps us remember. And so, here I am, on my summer Friday morning writing date [with myself]... reflecting on the season.So without further ado....
I can survive the flu with a newborn after a week without my husband at home only because of my family and good, modern medicine.
John-Mark was gone for the first week of March and we had an almost three-month-old who was still waking up every 2-3 hours at night and not napping without being held. It was a long few days holding down the fort at home while he traveled. And the day before he drove home, I woke up and immediately got very sick with the flu. A few noteworthy things: a) baby e never got sick... thanks to the amazing benefits of breast milk and the antibodies that travel to her through it - I'm thankful for this gift; b) my family will come at the drop of a hat to help me when I'm in need - my mom came and spent the night one night, my mother-in-love came the next day to take care of baby girl while I was literally laid up in bed and couldn't function, and my cousin dropped everything to show up in between me getting seriously sick and my mother-in-love arriving; and c) starting tamiflu immediately changed everything - I was sicker than I can remember and yet I was better the next morning and continued to improve quickly thanks to those antibiotics. And then John-Mark came home.Whew. Remembering that week & that flu season experience just... makes me tired. But I survived.
Four or five straight hours of sleep can be actually equated with pure gold.
Especially when you haven't gotten that much sleep in a row for five months. I have nothing else to say about this. Gold.[gallery link="none" size="medium" ids="4887,4875,4888"]Speaking of...
Baby e takes her time with changes, but when she's ready, she's ready.
This season we have transitioned her to all naps in her room, then in the crib, then transitioning out of the swaddle, then she learned she can roll & put her pacifier back in her mouth. She hates small changes, but when she puts all the pieces together... It's amazing. SO, she's sleeping CRAZY better, taking WAY longer naps, waking up happy, putting herself back to sleep in the middle of the night, and so on and so on. Also to note: she's recently begun scooting/crawling AND eating (*tasting) solids.We put in so. much. work. into helping her learn to sleep and it felt like we were making no progress. And then all the sudden, overnight it seems - no pun intended - it just clicked. All. The. Praise. Hands.On another note:
Old Navy's Luxe Line is my new favorite and I hope they keep it forever.
I have many, many shirts from this line and I plan on only wearing them for as long as I can.A large lesson for me also -
Turning 30 was way better than I had feared last year.
Maybe I'll share more about this in the future, but there was a point a year and a half ago or so where I sobbed and sobbed about how this wasn't how my life was supposed to be before I was 30. And then I approached turning 30 and I was excited. Oh man, this still is not at all how I pictured my life would be and I have grieved and ached so much during the year between age 29 & 30. But, 30 feels good. And I was able to embrace where I've been so far - good and bad. That felt good. Cheers to a new decade![gallery size="medium" link="none" ids="4896,4895,4897"]
Grief ebbs and flows - beauty and pain. Always.
I've wrestled with "should I still be grieving this much?" and "am I grieving enough?" and all the in-betweens and here's what I've learned. It's like the ocean. Sometimes the waves are large and choppy and dark and sometimes the waves are going back out from the shore, nice and calm. And it's beautiful. It's always there though. Always there. I can look at grief as being beautiful and I can look at it and feel only its pain. It ebbs and flows. But it's always there. And I find that to be a strange comfort in this moment.
I can enjoy food and life without an abundance of sugar & caffeine.
I love a good can of Coke. Seriously. But I was growing far too dependent on it and I wanted to cut it out. So I did. Cold turkey. And also a good amount of other processed sugary treats that had creeped up in my daily, regular eating habits. And while I'm not one to stick to anything 100% for 100% of the time, I learned that I can make good food and eat good food and it doesn't need to include a ton of sweets or caffeine afterwards. I'm thankful for a few days of trying something new and also for a few weeks of grace and remembering that I do like to eat clean, fresh food and that it doesn't take too much extra works. But also... quick, easy meals are good too. And Chipotle.Does this even make sense??
A large black garden snake lives on our street.
And I'm not okay with it appearing on my front steps when I'm hanging out there, but it can be in our yard and eat whatever it wants. I just don't want to hang out with him.[gallery size="medium" link="none" ids="4892,4894,4893"]
Taking big risks and following a dream is fun and thrilling and also makes me want to hide in a corner and be satisfied with that.
I don't know how else to elaborate on that. But I have taken some more risks and steps this season and I'm really thankful for them. They're baby steps, but so far, they've been fun and scary and... vulnerable.
I am always and forever in need of the grace that Jesus offers.
Wow, this season has surfaced my anger and my entitlement (I have said "it's not fair!" more times in the past three months than ever before in my life) so quickly and... I am so in need of the gospel. I'm so thankful that God's grace doesn't run out for me. I am far worse off than I ever knew, but I am far more loved than I can still ever imagine. Jesus paid my debt on the cross and defeated death by rising again and that mattered to me when I first came to know Him and over the past few years and over the past few months and it still matters to me for now and forever. I'm continually learning that it just never gets old. It is a sweet, sweet thing.[gallery size="medium" link="none" ids="4902,4891,4890"]Okay, that's all I'll share this morning. There's so, so much more I could write about but these are top moments this spring, I think.